It Can Be Easy

We Can Do Hard Things...But Must We?

Maybe it’s all the Capricorn in my birth chart or one too many personal development books, but when I heard the phrase, “we can do hard things,” I loved it.

Work hard, play hard. Let’s do this. My inner hustle gal loved a motivational phrase that encouraged me to dive right into every challenge. I can do hard things.

Then a couple years ago, I felt like I was at the peak of “hard things.” Life was throwing too many curveballs and they were all hitting me before I could even swing¹. Everything in my life seemed to be blowing up at the same time: dating, family, I was even fighting with my sister, the person who I always got along with. I felt alone.

I leaned on the mantra, “we can do hard things.” After a while though, it felt like I was in a ball pit filled with colorful hard things and sinking deeper into them as I struggled to get out. I did not want more hard things.

Around the same time, I was getting into Law of Attraction and manifestation. Even better than reading about it, I am lucky to have a Law of Attraction group in my city that meets every month to share synchronicity wins and abundance we’re manifesting.

See 777 on a license plate?

Everyone is excited!

Thought of your mom and then she rang?

Oos and ahhs.

The group contains the happiest and most positive group of people I’ve ever met. And I say that as someone who’s in the 99th percentile of positivity. People often say to me, “you’re so positive!” when I don’t even realize I’m being so. Still, I am eclipsed by the groups positivity.

In said group, we often talk about the power in the words we choose. “Words are spells” or one of the older texts by Florence Scovel Shinn is even called, “Your Word is Your Wand.²”

The general idea is that what you say manifests in real life. This is something that doesn’t need to be magical to be true. For example, when I was dating in my 20s, it was always fun to bemoan that “there are no good men.” So of course I never found one. I stopped saying that when I was dating a couple years ago and then went out consistently with super nice stable guys. My friends were also more excited to introduce me to people when I wasn’t diligently dogging on dating. Your words are something clear you put out into the world and of course people respond to it.

My mantra “we can do hard things” in my difficult era collided with my efforts to improve my language and I realized something. “We can do hard things” felt as though it was inviting more hard things into my life. I can do hard things. But do I really want to?

So I started playing around with a new mantra, “It can be easy.”

Tough conversation?

It can be easy.

Need more clients?

It can be easy.

Calling my credit card company to negotiate down my annual fee?

It can be easy.

I’d love to say that this flip was as easy as the words imply. What I realized was I would occasionally scrunch my nose and say, “ick” if I wanted something to be easy. If I want my business to grow, my thought process was that I should work hard. If I want to make money, I should earn it. I was deeply programmed to believe that I only deserved things if I worked hard for them.

I relied on the phrase, “we can do hard things” because it served me for a long period of my life. I was motivated by the idea that I could do something challenging and get to the other side better and stronger. I was convinced I was building confidence. Take action, do hard thing, build confidence.

I recognized I had a hard time receiving things if I didn’t feel as if I worked for it. The problem wasn’t only that I couldn’t say, “it can be easy.” The problem was I didn’t want it to be easy. Because then how could I say I earned it. Worse, maybe I was a little addicted to the chaos.

When bad things felt like they were piling up, I finally admitted to myself that chaos may have felt normal, but it was not good for me.

“I can do hard things” felt as if it was manifesting hard things and more chaos into my life. I can do hard things. I was done.

I want the things I do to feel easy. I want to be excited about the projects I’m taking on. I want work that feels like play. I’m willing to have tough conversations and I trust that the people I’m having them with are doing their best to receive it kindly.

I switched my perspective. When I dove into new work, I told myself, “it can be easy.” If I was swiping on the apps, I told myself, “it can be easy.” Even when I worked out, I leaned into the joy of my heart pounding when I have to push a sled down the gym instead of the pain of building muscle.

I started to feel better and started seeing more of the fun things life had to offer.

At the end of last year, I was looking at boutique hotels in our downtown area and dreaming of a staycation for my birthday. Looking at the high prices³, I started thinking about how I could work hard, make some more money and pay for a room. That didn’t feel quite right though. If I made more money, is that how I wanted to spend it? Did I want to feel like I was hustling?

I thought back to my Law of Attraction group. The people always encourage leaning into opening yourself up to all the fun and unexpected ways the universe can treat you. I imagined staying in a beautiful hotel and watched the tour videos to put myself physically there. It can be easy, I told myself. Then I signed up for the newsletter which asked participants to do a survey. As a thank you, they’d enter you into a giveaway.

I did the survey. I moved on with my life. I continued to dream about how nice it would be to have a staycation downtown.

Three months later, I received this email.

It can be easy.

1. Not sure why I’m attempting any sports metaphor, let alone baseball.

2. Speaking of synchronicities, I read a chapter from “Your Word is Your Wand” and the next day, heard Shaan Puri mention the book on the podcast, My First Million. Manifesting and hustle bro-ing are closer aligned than one may believe.

3. Extra high on my birthday…New Years Eve