‘Maybe we’re all getting older and focused more on settling down instead of turning up.’ 🙌 your journey is admirable, thank you for sharing! I really enjoyed the book ‘The Naked Truth’ - which also highlights how life events are typically planned around mimosas.
Thank you so much for your thoughtful comment Kelly! I will have to check out that book. I used to think I don't need to know these things anymore but now I think I need to have some extra notes for these types of conversations haha.
Great post, Michelle! I love how you write about quitting drinking in such a clear and actionable way. My partner and I recently decided to quit together because we realized alcohol provided no real value, and even just one drink has negative consequences on one’s health. We haven’t yet gone to a big event since making this change, but reading your posts helps me feel more confident and assured for when the weddings and parties roll around
That's amazing Rachael, congrats to both of you! I think it's a nice exercise to detoxifying your body because you're right, the upside is low and the downside is pretty negative. I wish you luck when you do go! For me, there's was definitely a period of getting used to my new lifestyle, but I'm pleasantly surprised to see that as I've become more comfortable, it's open up a lot of positive conversations with the people in my life.
Apr 6, 2023·edited Apr 9, 2023Liked by Michelle Elisabeth Varghese
I can reinforce that writing about something I’m exploring allows me to have such clearer thinking and more confidence in communicating it verbally to those in my life.
Yes! I never thought about this before I started writing but I've noticed it with a few things. I felt I was pretty "comfortable" after I left my job and after I quit drinking, but in both instances, I was able to identify leftover scripts through writing and I've seen it's made me more confident afterwards. I'm so happy you highlighted this!
I feel this a lot. Yes, when I stopped drinking, I had so many friends come up to me to ask me so genuinely curious, how it's going. It was such a foreign thing to them but also seemed to feel comfort knowing that a normal person like me can just stop drinking. I also wrote about my relationship with alcohol last year. It wasn't adding anything to my life. A buzz for a few hours would mean a crappy few days ahead!
Yes Stephanie, this is so well said, "a normal person like me can just stop drinking." I think the people in our community can see themselves in us more than say a random person online or on TV and it's easier to have a direct conversation about the experience as well. I have to read about yours! Is it on your Substack?
Ahh from you Karena, that is quite the compliment. You are right though, I partially wrote this to start to untangle something I'm starting to see "in the real world." It will be interesting to see how people's relationship to alcohol shifts over the next few years.
I’m so proud of you, Michelle, for your many external and internal successes.
You also have a gift of storytelling and self-reflection that highlights the universal truths in each of your individual experiences.
I relate the awkwardness of being the minority in social situations and having people surround me with their curiosity. I’m a vegan, and being a vegan triggers lots of insecurities for me in social situations. It reminds me that I’m different than everyone else in the room and that brings up the lifelong shame that I’ve associated with being different than other people. I will adopt your tip of writing through my insecurities to help me process them.
Thank you so much Jenny, your kind words mean so much to me!
I do believe being vegan (and many other dietary restrictions) have the same effect on people as telling them you've quit drinking. Sometimes it's hard to discern if people are curious or reflecting their own insecurities. Which then for me can make me feel insecure, particularly if it's something I'm still working through. I appreciate your openness here! I do think writing helps a lot. I wasn't expecting that, but it's cool to now map back on my "quitting drinking" essays and see how writing helped instill more confidence in myself which I theorize is what is influencing the people around me as well. I appreciate the thoughtful comment Jenny!
I wonder if this is gonna be like with tattoos, how one generation gets super into them then the next rebels and loses interest. The next generation will be so so drunk. lol
But also
"Spending a weekend in Miami getting to know 16 women is fun but also socially exhausting."
lol yeah I don't know how you survived this trip. You have superpowers I think.
Thank you Oscar! Having written / podcasted about over the last few years, it's funny to see the internal changes that I don't think I would have noticed otherwise.
Emailing you privately now with an idea that you might be interested in that could be HUGE! ha ha. Can't share it here because someone else might steal it! : )
Haha Rick, I have to respond to your email but I'm not going to lie, I kind of like the idea. Even if it's just to have the option to quickly send people to it, that would be worth it in itself. Thank you for sharing :)
That's awesome, I'm so glad you like the idea. No need for a longer reply, just go for it! I think it has potential for serendipity as we like to now say!
‘Maybe we’re all getting older and focused more on settling down instead of turning up.’ 🙌 your journey is admirable, thank you for sharing! I really enjoyed the book ‘The Naked Truth’ - which also highlights how life events are typically planned around mimosas.
Thank you so much for your thoughtful comment Kelly! I will have to check out that book. I used to think I don't need to know these things anymore but now I think I need to have some extra notes for these types of conversations haha.
Yes! I lived that line!! That was such a great story Michelle :-)
Aw thank you so much Jen, I'm so happy to hear the line and story resonated!
Great post, Michelle! I love how you write about quitting drinking in such a clear and actionable way. My partner and I recently decided to quit together because we realized alcohol provided no real value, and even just one drink has negative consequences on one’s health. We haven’t yet gone to a big event since making this change, but reading your posts helps me feel more confident and assured for when the weddings and parties roll around
That's amazing Rachael, congrats to both of you! I think it's a nice exercise to detoxifying your body because you're right, the upside is low and the downside is pretty negative. I wish you luck when you do go! For me, there's was definitely a period of getting used to my new lifestyle, but I'm pleasantly surprised to see that as I've become more comfortable, it's open up a lot of positive conversations with the people in my life.
It had never occurred to me until I read this that writing about something one is exploring, makes them feel more confident about the subject.
I can reinforce that writing about something I’m exploring allows me to have such clearer thinking and more confidence in communicating it verbally to those in my life.
Yes, 100% agree with this Jen. From the audience perspective, it's so helpful to read this untangling too.
Yes! I never thought about this before I started writing but I've noticed it with a few things. I felt I was pretty "comfortable" after I left my job and after I quit drinking, but in both instances, I was able to identify leftover scripts through writing and I've seen it's made me more confident afterwards. I'm so happy you highlighted this!
I feel this a lot. Yes, when I stopped drinking, I had so many friends come up to me to ask me so genuinely curious, how it's going. It was such a foreign thing to them but also seemed to feel comfort knowing that a normal person like me can just stop drinking. I also wrote about my relationship with alcohol last year. It wasn't adding anything to my life. A buzz for a few hours would mean a crappy few days ahead!
Yes Stephanie, this is so well said, "a normal person like me can just stop drinking." I think the people in our community can see themselves in us more than say a random person online or on TV and it's easier to have a direct conversation about the experience as well. I have to read about yours! Is it on your Substack?
Yes! I just spoke to my friend today and she quit drinking too around the time I posted this
https://stephaniecooley.substack.com/p/my-relationship-with-alcohol
You have your finger on the pulse. You are a leading indicator of a trend that is gathering momentum.
Ahh from you Karena, that is quite the compliment. You are right though, I partially wrote this to start to untangle something I'm starting to see "in the real world." It will be interesting to see how people's relationship to alcohol shifts over the next few years.
I’m so proud of you, Michelle, for your many external and internal successes.
You also have a gift of storytelling and self-reflection that highlights the universal truths in each of your individual experiences.
I relate the awkwardness of being the minority in social situations and having people surround me with their curiosity. I’m a vegan, and being a vegan triggers lots of insecurities for me in social situations. It reminds me that I’m different than everyone else in the room and that brings up the lifelong shame that I’ve associated with being different than other people. I will adopt your tip of writing through my insecurities to help me process them.
Thank you so much Jenny, your kind words mean so much to me!
I do believe being vegan (and many other dietary restrictions) have the same effect on people as telling them you've quit drinking. Sometimes it's hard to discern if people are curious or reflecting their own insecurities. Which then for me can make me feel insecure, particularly if it's something I'm still working through. I appreciate your openness here! I do think writing helps a lot. I wasn't expecting that, but it's cool to now map back on my "quitting drinking" essays and see how writing helped instill more confidence in myself which I theorize is what is influencing the people around me as well. I appreciate the thoughtful comment Jenny!
This is a fascinating read.
I wonder if this is gonna be like with tattoos, how one generation gets super into them then the next rebels and loses interest. The next generation will be so so drunk. lol
But also
"Spending a weekend in Miami getting to know 16 women is fun but also socially exhausting."
lol yeah I don't know how you survived this trip. You have superpowers I think.
Tattoos is a great example, it's funny how as soon as something is accepted it loses it's appeal. And then the cycle keeps going.
Haha I was TIRED, I slept for a week. There were breaks built in which was really nice, but it's a lot of social energy in three days.
You've done all this process in such a correct way Michelle, I'm glad it's now so ingrained in your personality, and in such a natural manner also!
Thank you Oscar! Having written / podcasted about over the last few years, it's funny to see the internal changes that I don't think I would have noticed otherwise.
Emailing you privately now with an idea that you might be interested in that could be HUGE! ha ha. Can't share it here because someone else might steal it! : )
Haha Rick, I have to respond to your email but I'm not going to lie, I kind of like the idea. Even if it's just to have the option to quickly send people to it, that would be worth it in itself. Thank you for sharing :)
And yes, that was my thought also, even if it were just how you responded to those one off inquiries it would be really fun.
That's awesome, I'm so glad you like the idea. No need for a longer reply, just go for it! I think it has potential for serendipity as we like to now say!
I'll look into it and let you know if I launch it!