Dec 15, 2022·edited Dec 15, 2022Liked by Michelle Elisabeth Varghese
What a fantastic essay, Michelle. I love your voice - I can actually kind of hear you reading it in my head because I'm quite the voice in my head reader - and I admire the way you set up, explain and then gently but sharply take apart "manufactured reciprocity."
I echo your sense that WOP challenges theories of reciprocity, and I was happily testing out the theory (in my head) that people don't always function on reciprocity - as some cooperation theorists seem to argue.
But I'd never thought it about it in this way - that sometimes we imagine that reciprocity is possible in situations where it isn't, cannot or shouldn't be a factor. Worse still, we then see everything through the lens of reciprocity in those imagined situations. Giving without expectation can fuel more of that kind of giving without expectation - which is an organic and elevated reciprocity itself.
Ahh thank you so much Malavika! This means a lot, particularly since you saw the potential in my rough draft of ideas. You were one of the people that inspired me to go back and find my voice in the rewrite. I'm happy to hear the ideas resonated.
This was such a wonderful read on so many levels. The immigrant-helping-immigrant is the underpinning of creating a new life in a new country. It is an experience you never forget and believe in paying forward.
Thank you. For also leaning into the feeling of generosity that makes community such a wonderful place to be. "
Thank you so much Karena! What you wrote about the "immigrant-helping-immigrant" idea is so true and one I see deeply woven into my families stories and I think something many people can relate too.
Your story is such a perfect metaphor for the creator reciprocity we're all experiencing in Write of Passage. I also like the unspoken question you raise about whether reciprocity has to be tracked or managed, or whether if we just give of ourselves generously that everything will work out for everyone. So it's a question I am posing to myself, almost as a challenge, "what if there is a natural and universal web of reciprocity that we are all held within and all we have to do it participate freely, not worrying about where and to whom we give or from what direction it might come back to us?" That sounds like a blessed existence! I'm intrigued to lean into the experiment. Thanks!
"..,or whether if we just give of ourselves generously that everything will work out for everyone" You pulled out exactly what I've been tossing around my head! I'll be curious to know how the experiment goes. I am a convert to the idea that giving selflessly is a positive feedback loop to step into.
Yes. So good. What if there already is a web of reciprocity.. and all we need to do is participate. Really flips the lens that we have inherited from previous thinking.
Aww, what a sweet read. I really love your Aunt's story. Its very unique and inspiring. And the fac t that you derived a lesson from it. Loved reading the essay and your journey of giving.
This was poignant, beautiful and the best thing I've read all day!
Thank you so much Sairam for all those kind words!
What a fantastic essay, Michelle. I love your voice - I can actually kind of hear you reading it in my head because I'm quite the voice in my head reader - and I admire the way you set up, explain and then gently but sharply take apart "manufactured reciprocity."
I echo your sense that WOP challenges theories of reciprocity, and I was happily testing out the theory (in my head) that people don't always function on reciprocity - as some cooperation theorists seem to argue.
But I'd never thought it about it in this way - that sometimes we imagine that reciprocity is possible in situations where it isn't, cannot or shouldn't be a factor. Worse still, we then see everything through the lens of reciprocity in those imagined situations. Giving without expectation can fuel more of that kind of giving without expectation - which is an organic and elevated reciprocity itself.
Ahh thank you so much Malavika! This means a lot, particularly since you saw the potential in my rough draft of ideas. You were one of the people that inspired me to go back and find my voice in the rewrite. I'm happy to hear the ideas resonated.
YES GENEROSITY.
Looking at the photo, and your aunt looks like such a joyous spirit! Everyone's smiling happy faces makes me smile. The warmth. 😌
Yessss 🥰 my aunt was such a joyous person and I also love how simply happy everyone looks in the family photo
Heartwarming article Michelle 😌
Thank you Oscar and thank you for helping me with my first draft!
This was such a wonderful read on so many levels. The immigrant-helping-immigrant is the underpinning of creating a new life in a new country. It is an experience you never forget and believe in paying forward.
Thank you. For also leaning into the feeling of generosity that makes community such a wonderful place to be. "
Thank you so much Karena! What you wrote about the "immigrant-helping-immigrant" idea is so true and one I see deeply woven into my families stories and I think something many people can relate too.
Your story is such a perfect metaphor for the creator reciprocity we're all experiencing in Write of Passage. I also like the unspoken question you raise about whether reciprocity has to be tracked or managed, or whether if we just give of ourselves generously that everything will work out for everyone. So it's a question I am posing to myself, almost as a challenge, "what if there is a natural and universal web of reciprocity that we are all held within and all we have to do it participate freely, not worrying about where and to whom we give or from what direction it might come back to us?" That sounds like a blessed existence! I'm intrigued to lean into the experiment. Thanks!
Thank you so much Rick!
"..,or whether if we just give of ourselves generously that everything will work out for everyone" You pulled out exactly what I've been tossing around my head! I'll be curious to know how the experiment goes. I am a convert to the idea that giving selflessly is a positive feedback loop to step into.
Yes. So good. What if there already is a web of reciprocity.. and all we need to do is participate. Really flips the lens that we have inherited from previous thinking.
Aww, what a sweet read. I really love your Aunt's story. Its very unique and inspiring. And the fac t that you derived a lesson from it. Loved reading the essay and your journey of giving.
Thank you so much Charu! I'm happy to hear you enjoyed the story about my aunt, it's one of my favorites and always reminds me to be kind.